"Hey Coach, What Just Fell Outta Yer Ass?"

Wade Wilson, former NFL QB and current Dallas Cowboy QB coach, has been suspended for 5 games by the NFL after admitting he received illegal substances while a coach with the Chicago Bears. Wilson did not reveal the name of the substance, but stated that it was helping him with his diabetes. Wilson's suspension, along with that of Patriots safety Rodney Harrison, stems from an investigation into an Internet drug ring by the Albany, NY D.A.'s office.

So far, the investigation's greatest impact has been felt by World Wrestling Entertainment, who recently suspended 10 wrestlers due to evidence turned up by the Albany office.

Scott Skiles, Meet Joakim Noah

Joakim Noah is headed to New York Chicago. Now please keep your damn pom-pons out of his face, Laker Girls. Stu Scott says Joakim uses a product called "Bumble Bumble" in his hair. No word on whether or not this is a Giusseppe Franco-endorsed product.

Sacramento took Spencer Hawes with the 10th pick. This may turn out to be as disappointing as ECW's selection of Chris Benoit in the WWE draft three weeks ago.

Acie Law IV was the 11th pick and is now an Atlanta Hawk. Mark Jackson says that the Hawks will "no longer have a midget at point guard." Looks like Verne Troy needs to regulate.

Thaddeus Young went 12th to the Sixers. He should mesh well with Allen Iverson, Chris Webber, Shavlik Randolph. Just as long as he doesn't try to bring any gayness on him.

Julian Wright is headed to New Orleans after the 13th pick. He should take to the language quite nicely down there as. Hejustcompletedathree-minuteinterviewsegmentwithoutpausingbetweenwords.